"Honey, our kids are blockheads."

Boxes are the cheapest childcare around!

Hot Pot and BBQ Brisket and Chinese Texans

I recently was in Austin, Texas for some planning meetings with my teammates, Dennis and Carita Chen. We serve together by leading the domestic and international missions efforts for the Epic Movement. The Chens live in Austin and I made the trip this time, as they usually have to travel to So Cal for Epic meetings.

First of all, it was COLD. The night before I arrived, it lightly snowed!

In addition to some good planning times, the Chen's were great hosts. Within only two days, I had experienced a 13-piece big band at an underground Austin jazz club, Chinese hot pot, Texas-style BBQ, and breakfast tacos (think breakfast burrito in a soft taco shell). Austin is like the Berkeley of Texas, so most of the time, it never felt like "Texas". Very few people with accents, no cow wrangling, or 10-gallon hats. I was told if I left the city I'd need a gun in my truck window to feel at home. Don't mess with Texas.

Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to hand Lance Armstrong an extra water bottle while he was riding the Austin hills. Thanks to Twitter, I knew he was there, but I'm not a stalker, right?

Here are some pictures of the trip. Some amazing Texas BBQ brisket, sausage, and ribs from Rudy's BBQ and hot pot with some Austin Epic Movement staff. A great group of people. And that brisket was so good. My director, Tommy Dyo will vouch for it...he ordered 2 lbs of extra-moist and I brought it home on the plane!

I like Obama and all...

...but does he really have the necessary skills for being our next President?

Ninjas can do anything!

Twitter and the Tour.

If you don't "get" Twitter, I can identify. I didn't understand it and thought, "Why do I want to spend even more time on my computer?". Well, I decided I'd try it and I'm hooked. Here's a few things I like:

• It's quick and simple--not like Facebook, which always seems to want more and more of my time and has more and more content.
  
• In our increasingly disconnected society (not that I prefer the disconnection, but it is a growing reality) that spends hours on the computer, it's a good way to track with friends (or whomever) and hear about what's been going on in their day, what they're thinking about, where they are, what they're reading, etc.
• I get to follow celebrities, corporations, business, etc--and these people/groups would never be my "friend" on Facebook.
• It creates a sense of inclusion and sharing.

And my favorite Twitterer....Lance Armstrong. I'm a fan in general, but his tweets (yep, that's what there called) are great. It's been fun following him because he shares all kinds of very current info and pictures. He knows people follow him and is intentional about making people feel involved in his day.

And for you cycling fans...I had a moment of Twitter contact with the 2007 Tour de France winner the other day. I was looking on Armstrong's Twitter and who he was following. I noticed Alberto Contador (Spanish rider who won the 2007 Tour) was on his list. I clicked on Contador's Twitter page and noticed he was new to Twitter (maybe had 8-10 followers) and I decided to follow him.

Well, only moments later, I get an email saying that Alberto Contador is following ME. Here's what I received:

Hi, Rocky Waters.

ALBERTOCONTADOR (ALBERTOCONTADOR) is now following your updates on Twitter.

Check out ALBERTOCONTADOR's profile here:

http://twitter.com/ALBERTOCONTADOR

Best,
Twitter

I couldn't believe it! He obviously noticed that I was following him and he was checking out who I was. Well, he's a Twitter flirt because he stopped following me momentarily...and I just recently noticed that he BLOCKED me from following him.

What a punk.

Well, Alberto...I'm now rooting for Lance for this year's tour. How come you blocked me? Blocking your fans? Great idea.

(To fill you in a little on the situation, Lance and Alberto are on the same team (Astana). Alberto was not too happy to see Lance return as this means Alberto may no longer be the top dog on the team and the one who gets supported by all the other team members. Currently it's up in the air who will be the team leader and will be determined by who's the strongest rider. Lance is supposedly in the top 3 on the team right now.)

Here's my Twitter if you're interested. Don't worry, I won't block you.

And for even more info, here's an exhaustive link on the benefits of Twitter.

John Ortberg on evangelicals in politics

Just read a good post by John Ortberg titled, "The seven deadly sins of evangelicals in politics." Can't get Friedman off the brain and some of Ortberg's comments reminded me of his writings.

All of his "deadly sins" are good, but I especially liked:

• One Issue-ism. Justifying our intolerance of complexity and nuance by collapsing a decision into a simplistic and superficial framework.
• Messianism. The sin of believing that a merely human person or system can usher in the eschaton. This is often tipped off by phrases like: “The most important election of our lifetime” (which one wasn’t?); or “God’s man for the hour.”
• Alarmism. A friend of mine used to work for an organization that claimed both Christian identity and a particular political orientation. They actually liked it when a president was elected of the opposite persuasion, because it meant they could raise a lot more money. It is in their financial interests to convince their constituents that the president is less sane than Jack Nicholson in The Shining. Alarmists on both sides of the spectrum make it sound like we’re electing a Bogeyman-in-Chief every four years. I sometimes think we should move the election up a few days to October 31.

It's so easy to identify the anxiety-driven forces behind each of these. Also identifiable are sabotage (another topic of Friedman's that I didn't address in my summary) and the need for certainty.

What a lively mess of religion, politics, and immaturity...enjoy!

Practical application of "A Failure of Nerve"

My good friend Brian Virtue just posted a generous review of my last post on A Failure of Nerve. Thanks BV! And while reading his blog I noticed a new post of his with some great application of the book's thesis on reactivity within society. Some really insightful thoughts on the current political environment and more reason to read this book. It's worth your time!

A Failure of Nerve

A Failure of Nerve

I just finished one of the best books I've read in a long time. It's called, "A Failure of Nerve", by Edwin Friedman. He was an expert in family and systems theory. Might seem like boring stuff...but far from it. After a slow start, this turned into a very fascinating book.

Three main themes are presented as core issues of an unbalanced and emotionally immature leader: anxiety, lack of nerve, and a poorly differentiated self. Weaknesses in any area, he demonstrates, will derail the effectiveness of a leader. Friedman argues that with all the leadership training/conferences/courses out there, they miss the point that the most important aspect of leadership, whether in a family or the president of a country, is the leader's own presence and being.

Instead of focusing on the emotional processes and wider relationship system of a family or organization, we often just "try harder", find the "right" technique, or gather more information. This simply puts us on a treadmill that cycles a leader or group into deadlock...typically leading to eventual disintegration.

He goes into detail about the condition of the States and how we are a "society in regression", unable to move ahead as bold leadership and imaginative thinking are both paralyzed. Our tendency for safety (disabling the adventurous and risk-taking spirit) and certainty (always needed a clear and accurate answer) have 'regressed' our nation to a downward spiral of being anxious and unregulated.

Chronically anxious families (or even cultures) show five trademark characteristics of emotional regression:

1. Reactivity: the vicious cycle of intense reactions of each member to events and to one another.
2. Herding: a process through which the forces for togetherness triumph over the forces for individuality and move everyone to adapt to the least mature members.
3. Blame displacement: an emotional state in which family members focus on forces that have victimized them rather than taking responsibility for their own being and destiny.
4. A quick-fix mentality: a low threshold for pain that constantly seeks symptom relief rather than fundamental change.
5. Lack of well-differentiated leadership: a failure of nerve that both stems from and contributes to the first four.

Being able to control or "self-regulate" yourself in each area is a challenging, but also a motivating concept. We've all been in poor leadership situations, and could probably identify at least a few of these characteristics being exhibited (maybe even showing them ourselves!). What is motivating for me is the potential to remain non-anxious and self-regulated in the midst of relational/organizational tension. For me, that produces hope and vision for my own future and those I'm working with or leading.

Two chapters also stuck out to me. One is called "Data Junkyards and Data Junkies" and the other "Emotional Triangles". For the sake of keeping this short, I won't describe them, but he presents ideas and info that I found eye-opening.

This brief summary doesn't even touch on the depth of content and quality that Friedman produces. Not only is his writing compelling and fascinating, his skill in using history and science to illustrate his points is refreshing. It's really a goldmine of a book and is one I'm sure I'll find myself returning to it in the future. I highly recommend it.

After reading the book, I can't help but be curious if Obama will prove to bring hope and change, or get stuck in anxiety, lack of nerve, and poor differentiation. Despite my differences with much of his liberal thinking, I think in these areas, he's a better choice for the job. We'll see...

Self-awareness at 2.5 years old.

Max showed his first evidence of true self-awareness last Friday. It was quite a memorable experience. He was having a little conversation with the grandparents and the topic was about his unique "excitability". His personality is fairly intense and it shows on a daily basis. It's a highlight of my day when I get to see the little boy truly excited.

So, as they are discussing this topic, Max explains, "Sometimes I shake when I get excited." And then gives a live demonstration of how this works. He starts shaking, just like when he's really excited. It was exactly what we've seen for years now--wide-eyed and visible shaking, usually at least his head/face and often with his hands/arms as well, but this time it was just to let us see what he was talking about.

I was just in awe that he could identify his own behavior, especially something that seemed so uncontrollable. It was such a surprise that he knew what he was doing and could articulate it...and then give a demonstration!

It was a moment of true pride for his dad.

I was duped!

I am victim to an accidental Gatorade marketing campaign. That last post of the ball girl making that catch was a fake. Is writing a post that has a false message the same as sending those mass emails with made-up stories, disguised as truth? I feel like I put myself in that category now. My bad.

Click here for the story.

Serious hops

If you haven't seen this clip yet, you should check it out!

Mo Fat Fies

I'm back. I thought for a moment that I fell into blogging oblivion, since my last post was close to a month ago. I was out of town for a wedding and vacation, had a house guest, lots of work, and now the in-laws are in town for Max's 2 year birthday.

I haven't yet mentioned my family, so I thought I would post some pictures and a quick story.

As for me, I could do without McDonalds, probably forever. The movie SuperSize Me only confirmed my dislike and distaste. My wife begs to differ and has no problem with a little Micky D's every so often. I confess that I do like their frys, but haven't found one sandwich I can palate with any enjoyment.

Well, yesterday, Kristin took the kids to McDonalds and let Max have some french frys. (Not his first time actually, but not relevant to the story.) Max is talking up a storm these days and was now able to express his opinion on McDonalds.

"Mo Fat Fies!"

That pretty much sums it up.

(Fi, sounds like the "fi" of "fee fi fo fum")


Clara and Max and the family

(Now that I don't have any email to answer, I have lots of time to blog!!!)

Are you happy with your job? Happy with your workplace? I just ran across this site by Alexander Kjerulf--"Chief Happiness Officer", as he calls himself. This post is about worker productivity. He states, "The single most efficient way to increase your productivity is to be happy at work." And then gives 10 examples of shiny happy people...at work. (He has more in depth explanation of each example on his site.) I'm all for being happy at work, I mean who isn't?? In fact, the medical community is telling us that we will live longer and healthier lives if we're happy.

So, shouldn't every boss consider it part of his/her job to help create an enjoyable and happy work environment?

And if you're not happy with your job, the "CHO" has this advice for us:

1. Get happy in the job you have. There are about a million things you can do to improve your work situation - provided you choose to do something, rather than wait for someone else to come along and do it for you.
2. Find a new job where you can be happy. If your current job is not fixable, don’t wait - move on now!


The Happy Worker List:

1: Happy people work better with others

2: Happy people are more creative

3: Happy people fix problems instead of complaining about them

4: Happy people have more energy

5: Happy people are more optimistic

6: Happy people are way more motivated

7: Happy people get sick less often

8: Happy people learn faster

9: Happy people worry less about making mistakes - and consequently make fewer mistakes

10: Happy people make better decisions

Imagine if all of your inbox items just disappeared. Gone. One moment you see them, the next they are gone. That is...all but one email is left remaining. That's what happened to me yesterday. The emails aren't in my deleted items, archive folders, or even online through the Exchange Server. I haven't heard back from the IT people, and I'm wondering if they will be able to solve it.

It's fairly unnerving. How many of those will return as a problem? But, on the other hand, I haven't had an empty inbox in years. It's a great feeling. I think there were a few important emails in there, but probably not the majority. I think starting with a clean slate might actually be worth the loss. I currently have 3 emails in my inbox.

So, I challenge you to delete all your inbox items. It's worth it. In fact, I'm going to go delete those 3 emails right now. Heck, if I really need them, they will be in my deleted items. In my situation, the deleted folder is actually the safer place to be!

I now have 0 emails in my inbox.

How many 5-year olds can you take on? Now be honest.


21

Sorry, that was a waste of a post.

LT look out...

Among my new blogging reads is one by a Strength Trainer named Robert dos Remedios. He's got a new book out that I've totally bought into. Haven't yet fully implemented it, but it's been great so far. He has a GREAT flag football video on one of his blogs posts, that even non-football fans could enjoy. This little girl has mad skills. Coach Dos has some funny stuff on his blog...you should check it out.

The Blog

Only until recently have I bought into the whole "blog world". I kind of dabbled and checked out a handful of blogs, but could never really stay engaged over time. I've been reading Brian Virtue's blog for a few months, mainly because I had it set up to email the posts to me (because I rarely visited the direct site.) At this point, I know you bloggers are saying to yourself, "Hey genius, get a blog reader." Well, I actually tried that, but didn't really find it successful either. But, the blog world has changed for me within the last week, due to none other than Google. I discovered the Google Reader. It's beautiful. I can set it up as a tab on Firefox and a with a quick look, check for new posts. I've already got 13 blogs on there. Google to the rescue.

I don't exactly know what I'm going to write in my blog. I'm already insecure about putting my thoughts into cyberspace and the public view. Talk about permanent exposure. But for starters, I certainly run across lots of great stuff on the web, and sharing the wealth seems like a worthy and enjoyable activity. And I'm starting to appreciate that there is a community in the blogging world, and I certainly don't want to be left out of something I'm starting to enjoy. We will see if I can keep it more maintained than Facebook....which if I'm honest, I only enjoy about 10% of the time.

So, how about a little politics to stoke the fire....I'm not super politically oriented, but I have been fascinated by the Clinton/Obama campaign and have been seeing quite a few political articles on www.digg.com (one of my new favorite sites). I'm not really a Larry David fan (except of course, for his work with Seinfeld), but this article was worth the read. It's a good mocking of the famous "3am phone call" ad the Clinton campaign recently ran. My favorite line of the article: "He [Obama], with the ice in his veins, who doesn't panic when he's losing or get too giddy when he's winning, who's as comfortable in his own skin as she's uncomfortable in hers." He nailed it. Hillary really seems to be in a spiral. Obama just lights up that big smile and everything seems to be calm and collected for him.

Here's to Google Reader...